You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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