Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
