he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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