how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They took my balls.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
