Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
