Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My pussy is not your playground.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
