Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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