Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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