school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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