Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize