so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
And then he peed in my hair
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