dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
ttyl tear gas
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
