these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm eating all of the evidence.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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