separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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