just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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