you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
