I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
