I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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