I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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