So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
