farters have to be the big spoon...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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