so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
