Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
