69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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