I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
