white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
