I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
