I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Please, let me fuck your mom
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
