Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
