hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
