Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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