she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
