sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
