STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Randomize
