my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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