So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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