If i come over, it means nothing
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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