At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize