And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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