speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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