there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
