This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
