Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
