I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
