I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
