He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
