Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
