I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
