I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize