we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
