Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
