: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
