theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
