so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
