Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
