I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
