Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
