hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
