is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
