I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
