His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
