To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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