You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
