oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
