I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
