Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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