So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
