Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
