What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize